Ten lessons I learned the hard way - New York Edition
Life lessons of a thirty something navigating New York
Ten years ago, I moved to New York city for a job in advertising, or so I thought. New York has taught me a lot.. mostly through mistakes that were expensive, embarrassing, or both. So, in honor of a decade here, here are ten lessons I learned the hard way, in no particular order.
Don’t get a manicure when you’re in a rush.
This one is somewhat self explanatory but there is nothing worse than running late to your next endeavor while your useless hands are being held hostage. There is no greater test of character than watching your cuticles get perfected when you needed to leave 6 minutes ago.
2. Don’t agree to large group dinners especially if you don’t know everyone
There is nothing worse than getting stuck at the end of a table with someone’s cousin who they secretly don’t like while they talk about starting their own bikini line then being handed a bill for $200
3. You can and should say no
Starting out in comedy I said yes to everything and found myself in a few less than ideal situations. While formative ..and in hindsight, hilarious, I have learned it’s okay to say no and you won’t be cancelled for setting a boundary for yourself.
4. Say yes, even when you shouldn’t
Despite what I just said .. these instances are where the stories happen. Saying no and getting a good sleep score is important but being old and having insane stories is also important, life is short, do the thing
5. Maybe don’t finish that 8th drink
After a year of sobriety I learned that binge drinking doesn’t end well. Sure the stories can be hilarious but your reputation can become tarnished after 50 bad choices. A few drinks can be fun, but after 3, you should maybe switch to water and take a pause before making any further decisions.
Footnote - I relearn this lesson at least once a month.
6. You’ll become someone you never planned to be, Jesus take the wheel!
New York will change you, for the better or worse. Mostly for the better. You meet people you would never find yourself with in the best way (mostly), let these people show you new perspectives and be open to it all.
7. Take the subway but also walk
My first two years in New York I was .. scared of the subway, which is embarrassing to admit but true. I used to walk three miles to and from my first job. I probably smelled terrible in the summers and looked even worse. The subway is the fastest way to get around the city but walking is the best way to take it all in.
8. Give up on saving money
Sorry, it’s just not gonna happen. Unless you make more than you spend in rent and good times. Good luck.
You never know who you will meet - the good the bad and the ugly
9. See number 6. People will come and go, the good ones will stay and the bad ones will teach you valuable lessons that will stick with you forever. (This one needs a whole post) more to come.
10. Go for it
Not to be corny as hell, but yeah.. Go for it. Like I said, life is short. Be cringe online, follow your passions if you are lucky enough to find the thing that lights you up. People will judge you regardless of what you do, so .. give them something to talk about.
Okay, that’s all for now!
XO, Torey