The Santa Clause Effect
Have you guys heard of the Santa Clause Effect? No? That’s because it’s something I have completely made up. The Santa Clause Effect is when you believe something to be true because you grew up being told one thing and then you later find out it was a lie all along. The Santa Clause Effect.
It’s wild that we grow up being told that an overweight man in a red velvet suit flies around with reindeer and drops gifts down your chimney (you don’t even have a chimney) and then somewhere around the age of eight, you come to your senses and you find out … gasp .. Santa is your parents.
I will never forget when I found out. I convinced my neighbors, Mr & Mrs. Smith that I no longer believed in Santa. They paused and said, “really?” I nodded and made it clear that I did not believe in Santa (I still did). They looked at each other, shrugged and then went into extreme detail about all the things they did to trick their kids when they were growing up.
Mrs. Smith went into detail about how she would use boots to create footprints around the chimney to make it look like Santa was there. I had to hide how horrified I was and then I ran home to my mom to tell her that the jig was up. It’s like being cheated on.. But by your parents. “It was all a lie?!” I was sad but I was also a little embarrassed that it took me so long to figure it out. Kids are dumb, I am actually laughing out loud alone in my apartment thinking about how we really do this to our youth.. No wonder we all have trust issues.
Anyways, you may be wondering what this has to do with anything or what point I am trying to make. I am getting there!
As I get older I learn that the Santa Clause Effect applies to many things..
Insert alcohol.
We grow up seeing our parents consume alcohol at parties, or to relax after work, we get older and we learn that it’s not a party without alcohol, you go to college and you find that the more you drink the cooler you are. We (well I did, I am gonna just assume my life applies to you too) grew up with songs like “All Night Longer” by Sammy Adams or, “I love College” by Asher Roth which simply say that the amount of alcohol equates to the amount of fun. The amount of times I screeched the lyrics, “Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted” and I truly believed this.
In college I wandered around parties holding a handle of Burnett's Vodka and made friends by asking people if they wanted to take a shot together. I made a lot of friends that I didn’t remember the next day.. Productive.
Then you get older and puking in the back of an Uber isn’t funny, it costs $200 and your dignity. OK fine, it’s still a little funny but it sucks and it’s embarrassing in the moment. I am not going to list out all of the other embarrassing things I did while intoxicated but I will call out that the list got long enough for me to hit the brakes on drinking for a little over a year.
In my year off I read a lot of books on sobriety. I learned about the chemical effects it has on the body and how it is a depressant (I knew this but I didn’t really understand the depths of it). It can lower your body’s natural ability to create dopamine, it’s bad for your liver and other organs, it affects your sleep, spikes your heart rate, takes away your inhibitions and ability to make proper decisions, the list goes on.
Alcohol and the story society and culture paints is a lie. Plain and simple. Once you pull the curtain back on all of that you see alcohol for what it is… poison in well marketed packaging. You can also feel it affecting your body differently. I am 30 now and my first few drinks back just made me tired and a little anxious the next day.
I started drinking again when I was on vacation in Europe. While I knew I was drinking something that was bad for me, I also laughed a little harder, shared a little more with friends that I have known since middle school, we all acted a little sillier than usual and we created memories that I will never forget.
Sure, these memories would have also been great sober and I have a lot of those too, but it’s just different. There is something about letting go, letting your inhibitions take a back seat for a moment. We're all white knuckling this thing called life. Sometimes it’s nice to just dial down a few notches. Let Jesus (or whoever) take the wheel.
If I have learned anything it’s that, “it’s like this now” ..one of my favorite sayings. One day we feel one way and then another day we might feel differently. I have learned not to judge others through this process as you never know where someone is on their journey.
I want to thank everyone who has supported the sober version of myself and those who have opened their arms back up to the version of me who drinks again on occasion.
Christmas is still a good time and alcohol can still be enjoyable even when you know the realities.
Thank you for reading, cheers!
Disclaimer: I understand this mentality may not apply to people who can’t just have one or two drinks, I don’t want to seem insensitive to those realities either. So if you’re reading this thinking, that’s not how it works you stupid bitch, then read my part about “It’s like this now” again.
LOVE YOU BYE!