Bonus Land
Bonus Land is a term my friend Meg taught me. According to Urban Dictionary…
“It is the magical scenario when you wake up still highly intoxicated and or high from the night before. Neither your hangover nor the shame from last night’s poor decisions have set in, and continuing to day drink seems like the best decision. Effects: extreme happiness, laughter, loss of balance.”
This is a term we white knuckled after we would wake up after too many impromptu tequila shots at the bar while nobody was looking, after wreaking havoc in New York City when she would come visit for 24 hours and the million other times that are streaming through my mind right now. Good times.. good times.
Bonus Land is a funny concept, since it’s not really real. It’s a house of cards waiting to come crashing down. Or maybe if you are lucky you can sleep it off, delete the texts you should have never sent and just keep on truckin’. A solid tactic if you ask me.
OK. Why am I talking about Bonus Land? Well, I feel like I am living in it. In a sense we all are. Life is hard, we are all navigating traumas, personal and global. If you read the news, it can bring you down in a second. In another sense, Bonus Land is borrowed time. Borrowed time from the night before. You are still feeling the high highs, it’s an added bonus that you should not have been lucky to wake up with. In that sense, I really feel like I am living in Bonus Land.
No, I didn’t survive cancer, or go through anything too wild health wise. When I think of my personal Bonus Land moment, I am transported to summer 2012 to the back of an old sedan. Laying across the laps of four of my friends. It was after a night downtown in my hometown of Annapolis, Maryland. We had all been drinking at a local spot where we would always go on Wednesdays in the summer. The bar had closed and we all wanted to continue the party so we piled into the car of a friend's cousin, who unfortunately had also been drinking. None of us knew the extent to which he had been drinking. One of our friends even jumped in the trunk so we could all go together.
As we hit the back roads of our friend's wooded neighborhood, one of our friends foolishly challenged the driver, “You won’t go 100.”
Instantly the driver pushed his foot down on the accelerator. All I remember is feeling the car speed up and suddenly veer off the road, my friend who has since passed, pushed me and I hit my head on the side window. I yelled, “ouch” and he clarified he was trying to help me. He was pushing me away from the windshield, in anticipation of what could happen next.
Luckily, what was next was a mailbox. The mailbox came smashing into the windshield, cracking the shield and the sheer delusion of the driver. He immediately course-corrected, just missing a large tree.
I remember getting out of the car, staring at the cracked windshield, expressing my frustration to the driver and calling another friend to come get me. I didn’t fully process what just happened. I saw the damage of the car, understood it could have been worse, and moved on with my night.
The next day I was babysitting. I can still remember the green couch I was hungover and sinking into when I got the text from the friend who was the cousin of the driver. He, not so subtly, said, “you almost died last night.” Still in denial I rolled my eyes. But then the next text came in and the blood drained from my face. He sent a photo of the shattered mailbox and the tire tracks. The tire tracks were just a foot away from a very large tree trunk. One foot further and it could have been the end of all of us. I later asked my friend who was in the front seat, the speed on the odometer when we veered off the road, it was 80 mph.
I have never typed this story out, I have told it many times but it sends chills down my spine to see my experience in writing. What could have happened had that tree grown just a foot closer to the road? Had that mailbox not been there? I would not be sitting here in this coffee shop in Missouri typing this post.
I also know I am not alone in this experience. Part of the human experience is living with death and the chances of death. We have heard it at nauseum, to the point where it almost holds no weight, “you never know if today is your last day” but that is the truth.
Bonus Land is a mindset, it is the reason I do what I do. The reason I chose to go to college halfway across the country in a state where I didn’t know a single person. The reason I moved to New York City. The reason I do stand up comedy.
It pulls me out of my darkest mindsets and is a constant reminder that today and everyday is … a gift.
Oh god this just went from dark to cheesy. Whatever, I guess that’s on brand.
Anyways, remember that all of this is a bonus. We are lucky to be here, on this planet, connecting with one another. UGH I want to end this with something hilarious and witty.
Hmm… YOLO! Now, go enjoy Bonus Land!
Or in the famous words of Tim McGraw, like like you were dying…. feeling emo