mentorey

Growing up, I always looked up to my older sister. I studied what she was doing, how she carried herself, what her interests were and so much more. I still do. That being said, she spent a lot of her early teen years in her bedroom behind a closed door. She spent her summers away at camp in Maine and in high school, she moved away to boarding school. Don’t worry once she left, we rescued a dog so everything was fine but it still left a hole, a void for me to fill on my own. I was in seventh grade when she moved away, both of my parents worked demanding full time jobs and they eventually divorced when I was fifteen. Needless to say, everyone was busy navigating their own journeys as best as they could.

I think this is where my fascination with self help (or personal development as I like to call it) started. Suddenly it was me, vs the world (or so it felt #dramaqueen). After my parents got divorced my mom would travel to LA and New York for long shoots for her job in television production. Leaving me at home with a few frozen pizzas in the freezer, listening to Mac Miller’s “Another Night” on repeat. A CLASSIC. 

To clarify, this isn’t a pity party, it’s an origin story into who I am and what I do now. I started this blog to see if I was any good at writing and it has now become the platform I have always dreamed of, one where I connect with other young women (and some men?.. Probably not). 

I now aim to be someone I needed when I was younger. A mentor.. Or should I say… a mentorey (send help). 

I have connected with many women through my writing, Maria Maverick and Kayleigh Schiesser, two incredible women among the others I appreciate so very much. I hope to be able to dedicate many of these posts to these women, you know who you are! (Katie, Megan, Christine) etc!!! I need to create a more organized list, you all mean the world to me! 

Last week Maria wrote a beautiful post. Within the post, she shared the positive impact I have had on her and how I have inspired her to go after something more than her 9-5, something that lights up her world. Kayleigh replied to my latest post and I asked her what she would like me to talk about next and she asked me the below - 

“What age did you start to follow your dreams? How can you follow your dreams and still afford all the life things? Would you say you’re “livin the dream? Because I have big dreams and big goals, but life is hard and expensive and overwhelming, does that change?” “Do you feel less overwhelmed as you get older?” 

Loaded questions, but let’s see if I can share something insightful, something to the point and something that could help you on your own journey.. 

I was 26 when I discovered standup comedy. My friend asked me to be her maid of honor and I wanted to deliver a killer maid of honor speech (and get over my extreme fear of public speaking). I enrolled in a class at The Comedy Cellar with Rick Crom and the rest is history. The day I realized I discovered what I wanted to do with my life was my first open mic (not to get cheesy). I went to an open mic with my friend Chelsea who was taking the class with me. I was so nervous but once I got through my five minutes of written material, I was elated. I remember laying in bed that night staring at the ceiling until 4AM wide awake with excitement. There was no feeling like it. I have been chasing that high ever since. 

As I type this, it’s fun to remember that moment and reminisce. Nowadays, I will get off a stage and head to the greenroom of a club and pick apart what I did wrong, or what I should have done better. I beat myself up but I guess that’s how you get better? Anyways, the point I am making here is that I completely tripped and fell into my passion. It took my friend asking me to fill a large role and me wanting to show up for her. In the end, I showed up for myself. 

I went from wanting to get over a fear of public speaking to deliver a solid maid of honor speech and now I am on a nationwide tour with my friend and fellow comedian, Troy Bond, just four years later. 

1.) So keep an open mind and try new things, step out of your comfort zone, you never know what will stick. 

How can I afford life while pursuing my dreams? 

2.) A 9-5. Luckily I still have a 9-5 with flexible enough hours to allow for me to travel, write, manage a comedy club, do spots and more. I still have to be in an office three days a week, but until I make enough money from the dream, this is not too bad. I also manage a comedy club which is a few extra $$ while also doing what I love. So if possible, find a way to make money doing what you love. I mean you won’t always love it.. Like the nights I have had to clean up puke out of the club sink at the end of the night at midnight before heading home to get a few hours of sleep before heading back to the office in the AM. It’s not easy, but similar to raising a kid, you do crazy things for the things you love. 

Would you say you’re livin the dream? 

3.) Yes. Do I always feel this way? No. The long nights, early mornings, bad sets, feeling tired of your material, questioning if you are making the right life choices while watching all my friends get engaged, married and have kids. Putting my work online and getting negative feedback.. Those are all part of “the dream” that I don’t always talk about or share. That being said, I wouldn’t trade any of this. I love the friends I have made along the way and the life I have crafted for myself. It’s fun, exciting, scary at times but that’s the best part. It’s like a rollercoaster in the dark. Highs and lows and you don’t always know what is next but it’s a good time. 

Do you feel less overwhelmed as you get older? 

4.) No and yes. Life throws more at you as you get older. You have to make bigger choices, your parachute gets smaller. If you fall, it might hurt because you’re an adult and your parents and friends can’t always pick you up. You have to watch your parents get older, struggle with their health. Your friends start having kids, life gets hard, scary and intense at times. The reason I say, yes though is because you now have the tools and experience to navigate the hard times. Your brain is more developed to help you make rational choices. You know that having 2 bottles of wine on a Monday is a bad idea because you already made that mistake once or five times (who's counting?). You get my point, in some.. Life gets tough, but so do you. 

In sum (bow time)..

Could my sister teach me these things? Probably not. No, definitely not. She couldn’t wave a magic wand to guide me towards a career in standup comedy. Just like this blog post isn’t going to change your life. Sure, it can help guide you but the reality is, nobody can really help you except yourself. 

Think of all the books, courses and information out there on finding your passions, following your dreams and #livingyourbestlife. If all it took was someone to tell you something, we would all be strutting around in our goal bodies living our dreams. 

I guess, all this goes to say is only you are in the driver seat of your own life. Jesus (YOU) take the damn wheel, you got this. 

C U L8R !!!!! 

Xo