North Carrot
Last night after our show, Troy and I were chatting and he brought up that he wanted to start a blog but he didn’t want to step on my toes. I laughed, I thought it was sweet to double check with me as if I invented the blog. But as he went on to explain that I inspired him to write one it made me want to breathe life back into this.
I love when inspiration comes full circle.
When I started this blog I just needed accountability to write and to see if I was any good. Enough people have reached out to me reinforcing this to give me enough delusion to keep my dream of writing a book. Thank you to those who have supported this. When I started this blog I thought it would be hilarious. I was thinking I would write satire pieces or just silly essays but each post I put out became a deep dive on what I’m going through or currently experiencing. Sharing my journey with drinking was really cathartic and met with open arms by most. I know it was a little eye roll at times, like wow another person talking about their sobriety. COOL! I hope I brought a new lens to it though. Many people ride one side of the fence or the other.
Having been on both sides I am now in a gray area and honestly, a bit lost.
Yeah I enjoy a glass of wine with pasta. Sure I know it’s a poisonous ethanol that makes me feel shitty the next day. During my sobriety, I created my own (+5 -10) rule. I reminded myself that drinking would be 5 times more fun now and 10 times less fun later. It kept me on the straight and narrow for a year and two months. But then I heard a quote on a Jay Shetty podcast. The guest said, “You don’t want to be the healthiest person in the graveyard.”
Death is inevitable. Sure you can eat your broccoli, chicken and rice each night, stay sober and workout daily. I am sure you will feel amazing and live a great life but for me, personally the fun times and times of connection were centered around much more. There is obviously a balancing act here and it’s often easier said than done. I try to find balance to make sure I am still fulfilling my potential.
A quote that has also stuck with me is, “Hell is your last day on earth meeting the person you could have become.” I remember reading this and feeling like I couldn’t let this happen to me. I want to live life to my fullest potential while having a good time... We all do.
I always feel like I am X away from Y and it’s fucking exhausting and stupid.
We are all chasing the carrot on the stick. Maybe let’s let the carrot be a north star, let it guide you.
But try to remember that you don’t need it to be happy. It probably tastes like shit anyways.