If I knew then what I know now
Last week I went back home to Maryland to talk to the senior class of my high school about the transition from high school to college. Since it had been well over a decade since I made this transition I reached out to my Instagram fam and asked people to share their personal experiences and any advice for this presentation.
Many people responded and their responses all had a common theme. The common thread was that this time was difficult but also through their difficulties they came out stronger and the lessons they learned set them up to succeed later on. Many people mentioned that their college experience was a time to reinvent themselves.
I personally really struggled during my freshman year of college. I chose to go to the University of Colorado, Boulder, halfway across the country. I didn’t know anyone, I just knew I wanted to snowboard, smoke weed, and be FkN ChiLl !!! Instead I was slapped in the face by the reality of missing my mom, having a full blown weed induced panic attack and realized the mountains were a 3 hour bus ride away. WOMP!
Let’s rewind.
In high school, my friend Crystal taught me how to snowboard and I fell in love with it. In the winter we would get a big crew together on some weekends and go to a local mountain and have a blast. I thought going to Colorado would be just like this, only better.
When the ski season rolled around my freshman year, I was so excited to hit the mountains. Me and my one friend, shout out Abby (we’re still close) took a three hour bus ride to Vail on beautiful blue bird day. After a few runs, I sat down for a minute, looked out over the mountains and cried.
I missed my friends, I missed the shitty little icy mountain, I missed home, I missed it all. I couldn't believe that I got what I wanted but it wasn’t what I wanted at all. What I wanted was to pack my bags and go home. I tried to transfer to The University of Maryland but I didn’t get in. I am laughing as I type this because I remember drunkenly sobbing in the hallways of my sorority house when I got the news that I wasn’t accepted.
Something changed my second semester sophomore year. I made an incredible group of friends from my lacrosse team, I fell in love with being in Colorado, stopped feeling sorry for myself and found my way. Then, Junior year, two of my best friends transferred to Boulder and the rest is history. It all clicked. All of the tears, the hardships were worth it. I went to the mountains with my best friends on the weekends and instead of tears of sadness, I would cry tears of joy. I remember every first chair lift up I would spin around in the chair and look out over the Rockies and it would bring tears to my eyes. It was so beautiful. I could finally enjoy these moments.
I had gotten through the hard times and proved to myself that I can handle hard things. I also realized that the hard things don’t have to be hard. All that changed was my mindset and the people I was surrounded by.
I think everyone will experience something like this in their lives. At first you want to run away from the hardships, the unknown, the uncomfortable and go back to where you came from. But, if you stay in the storm, the wind and rain will stop and oftentimes a rainbow appears and suddenly, it’s all worth it.
You will learn that the next time there’s a storm, all you need is to grab your raincoat and wait for the rainbow, because it’s coming.
XO,
Torey